Apparently I wasn’t done ranting about this. I’ll do my best to highlight all the things that don’t apply to women’s clothes in this scenario.
Let’s say you’re a twenty-something man getting your first non-manual labor job. Doesn’t matter what. You want to look professional at work.
You go to Kohls or any department store in the US. You go to the menswear section and you buy one or two suits. Get a gray one and another neutral color. Won’t matter much; you can use colors in your tie or dress shirt. You can buy colored ties and shirts everywhere, even Wal-Mart, unless you’re above or below a certain broad range of sizes. These are available year-round in a variety of colors, regardless of season. You will be able to find your size easily, and the fabric will usually be natural and breathable, suitable for multiple temperatures, and opaque. You’ll be able to launder these items at home, and you can splurge and get dress shirts that repel stains. You don’t need to iron things at home any more because fabrics have advanced sufficiently that they won’t wrinkle which are standard in your shirts and you don’t need a crease. If you’re frugal, you can find dress shirts at Goodwill for even cheaper in a similar amount of sizes.
Your pants will fit you because you have two measurements to go by, both waist and inseam. Your pants will have pockets that you can use, that you can put a wallet into. You will be able to put your keys and change in your pockets without the contents falling onto the dirty public bathroom floor every time you drop trou. Even your suit jacket will probably have pockets; they may be sewn shut, but you will be able to remedy this with a pair of scissors, and the pockets will not be fake slits.
This will cost you a couple hundred bucks, maybe. These will last you years, barring clothing disasters or weight gain. The style will not appreciably change, so you could just wear the same things for a decade and nobody will think you’re out-of-fashion.
Oh hey, isn’t your friend getting married at the end of July? You’re not in the wedding party. You can wear one of these suits there. And isn’t your partner’s sister getting married in December? You’re also not in the wedding party there. You can wear one of your suits there. Maybe the same one. But your best friend is getting married next year, so you’ll be his best man. You can rent a tuxedo for a reasonable amount of money, and return it without having a useless piece of clothing you’ll never wear again cluttering up your closet.
Oh and your brother just had a baby, and there’s a christening. You can wear one of your suits there. Maybe the same one.
Your phone buzzes. Oh no, Great-Uncle Henry just died, and the funeral is on Thursday. You’re a pallbearer. You can wear one of your suits there. Maybe the same one.
Your phone buzzes again. Oh no, your high school mentor died. You are not a pallbearer. You can wear one of your suits there. Maybe the same one.
You use your Kohl’s cash wisely to buy new underpants too, and some dress socks. This is all the undergarment you need to worry about. They will not show appreciably under your clothes, necessitating another layer or specialized garment. You can, if you like, buy a plain t-shirt or something to wear under your clothes, but it’s not required. Nobody will be offended if you don’t.
Fast forward ten years. You’ve got a promotion, congrats. Repeat this same process ad nauseum every ten years until you die.
See all the bold and italics? WOMEN CAN’T DO THIS. These are things you take for granted, and I know. I’ve shopped with and for men my entire life. I’ve worn menswear and women’s formal gear. THERE IS NO COMPARISON. None.
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