Amidst a global plague and uprisings against police violence, J.K. Rowling decided now was a good time to cast off any doubts about being a decent human being and confirm her TERF status to the world. It's been a while coming, and I'm not surprised, but people are (understandably) furious and hurt that a once-beloved creator is such an asshole. What do we do now, people ask, how do I reconcile my love for her books with the fact that she's an inexcusable bigot?
With the newest set of revelations, people are (understandably) trying to find a better alternative, with more progressive views, and in some cases coming up short, but occasionally finding a good egg. I personally know a lot of people whose first experiences with a positive gay character in literature is Vanyel Ashkevron, so they're understandably upset.
First off, I am so sorry if this has happened to you. You would hope that people who spent their time imagining impossible things could empathize better. That they don't feels like a betrayal on a massive scale.
Many of us have spent a fair amount of time playing with these characters. We've written and enjoyed fanfiction, art, made crafts, imagined where we'd be in their world. Those experiences we've had are still valuable. The friends we've made within those spaces are still excellent. We can and should still revisit these things. In no reality should we toss out our handmade wands or cross-stitched banners, we shouldn't delete our fics or art. We own these things. We own the fandom. We have made it inclusive, we understand that the world is wider than these TERFs have designed it.
That's the beauty of metanarrative and fannish spaces. We've taken a thing and made it whole. We've filled in the gaps, we've speculated and diverged and made it something new. We know a trans girl wouldn't get kicked out of the girls' dorm in Hogwarts because the castle knows she's a girl. We know a world that has charms for everything could enact gender conforming potions. We know that when Hermione and Fleur take Polyjuice that inside Harry's skin, they're still girls, still themselves.
So. Don't give her any more of your attention or your money. There are a plethora of more inclusive writers out there to bloat your TBR, but I also know they can't take the place of a formative work of your childhood (I grew up on C.S. Lewis, who was also a piece of shit, I understand). Keep writing fic, keep knitting scarves, keep finding the holes and making something new. If your conscience finds the canon too constricting, that's what we're here for.
And donate to a trans charity. Tell your friends you love them, tell yourself that too.
Wow this brought out a sappier side than anticipated. Don't worry, I have more junk rattling around in here.